–Dan Kelly, Attorney
I have long enjoyed the offerings of Despair, Inc., the outfit that has built a business out of parodying Successories–the makers of those know-them-when-you-see-them corporate motivational posters. Despair offers, among other things, DEMOTIVATORS® posters. The entirety of the despair.com website reinforces the Despair brand and image. (An empty “shopping cart” is underscored with the comment, “Your shopping cart, like your impoverished soul, is empty.”) Despair’s “Customer Disservice” page, while still humorous, once used the tagline, “We’re not happy until you’re not happy.” (You really have to admire a company that can make legal copy interesting to read.)
While Despair has apparently set the “We’re not happy until you’re not happy” theme aside, at least for now, The New York Times published an excellent article about an Internet retailer, DecorMyEyes.com, that really made a go of that theory. The one-sentence summary is that the business discovered that negative customer reviews and feedback online were as beneficial or more beneficial to organic Google rank than positive reviews and contracted SEO (search engine optimization). It is a longish but excellent read, and just goes to show that some corners of the Internet are still wilderness, complete with scary beasts.