–Dan Kelly, Attorney
WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT
This post graphically shows what happens when a patent attorney attempts marketing. If you have a sensitive stomach or feel faint at the mention of the word “algebra,” you may not want to read on.
What follows is an attempt by a group of inventors, including “at least one” patent attorney, to claim as an invention, “A method for marketing a product.” To borrow a phrase from Dave Barry, I am not making this up:
A method of marketing a product, comprising:
developing a shared marketing force, said shared marketing force including at least marketing channels, which enable marketing a number of related products;
using said shared marketing force to market a plurality of different products that are made by a plurality of different autonomous producing company, so that different autonomous companies, having different ownerships, respectively produce said related products;
obtaining a share of total profits from each of said plurality of different autonomous producing companies in return for said using; and
obtaining an exclusive right to market each of said plurality of products in return for said using.
Moral of the story: when your patent counsel volunteers to assist with your marketing effort, run for your lives!